Snape's Fate
by clarisasnape
Summary: Severus Snape gets more than he bargained for when he agrees to help a witch who has been bitten by a Vampire.  This is set 2 years after DH.  It doesn't follow DH exactly as in this little story both Dumbledore and Snape are alive and still at Hogwarts.


**Fate**

**Chapter 1**

Severus sat deep in thought; his chamber a mass of shadow in the early morning sunrise. Last night had been trying; he did not like disruptions to his schedule. He looked at the fire flickering in the near oppressive twilight of his room. Dumbledore's capacity for stupidity infuriated him! Why did he feel the need to entrust him, Severus, with the most pointless of tasks - a vampire no less. Kill it now and be done with it. But Dumbledore saw the good in everything. To his ruin he thought.

The moment Severus had seen the vampire he knew it to be a futile effort – she was too far gone. But still he had agreed, against his better judgement, to help her. The foolish witch had been staving off the transformation with a potion, with decreasing success he noted. Now she wanted his help. His notoriety as the former dark lord's potion master and teacher at Hogwarts commanded a certain respect. But if she was expecting a hero she was deeply mistaken. This was a waste of his talent and time and he would make that clear.

Severus eyed the clock and saw it had already passed 8am. He hated Christmas, but at least there were no students to teach and he was free to explore his own interests. Although he had now agreed to give over his evenings to the vampire witches ill attempts at stopping the hands of fate. Nothing stood in the way of fate, thought Severus, life had a way of following its own plan.

The sun awoke Helena as soon as it rose. It was only a sliver through her curtains but it was enough to cause her body to contract in agony. She threw herself off the bed. Unable to open her eyes, she felt frightened. She was more far gone than she'd thought. She didn't know what to do, so she lent over the bed and pulled the blankets down over her body and tucked them around her. She felt comforted by the dark Strange really, she'd always been so afraid of the dark. Soon she fell back into a deep dreamless sleep, like death.

Severus pulled himself from his thoughts and looked at himself in the mirror. He eyed himself reproachfully; how had he gotten so old and weak. It was still early, the castle would be empty and the grounds deserted. He watched himself in the mirror as he transformed into a large grey wolf. He always preferred this form to take exercise in – less conspicuous (well once within the bounds of the forest anyway). He took off feeling his energy and vigour return, maybe he was not yet so old. He sped through the vacant castle. Once outside the icy morning air and the feel of the snow crunching under his paws was exhilarating. Soon he no-longer thought anything; he was the beast feeling only the rhythmic sounds of his breathing as he wound his way through the forest.

**Chapter 2**

Dumbledore sat in his office. He looked out of the window and saw a wolf running across the grounds and smiled sadly. So much suffering, so much loss. Severus never spoke of the war, of the things he had seen and done. Perhaps Dumbledore had expected too much of him. In the past two years Severus had hardly left the castle. He was no-longer reviled, yet he hid himself even further away from humanity. Dumbledore had thought that with time Severus would be able to let his ghosts rest, but it seemed they were part of him now.

He looked at the time – almost 10am. Christmas Day. There were no students staying at the castle this year, he had no duties to perform and had accepted Molly's invitation to Christmas Dinner. He was looking forward to seeing everyone, Harry especially. But he could not help but feel guilty for leaving Severus here. Molly had invited Severus, he would be more than welcome, but he flatly refused. Well at least Severus wouldn't be alone this Christmas – he had Helena for company and he had a purpose.

Dumbledore signed deeply and hoped he wasn't making yet another mistake.

**Chapter 3**

Helena stirred in her sleep. Strange visions began to fill her mind. As soon as she tried to capture one it dissolved into another image. It was hot, suffocating; she could taste something metallic in her mouth, something good. Finally her eyes flew open and met darkness – she was trapped, barely able to breathe. She began to panic unsure where she was. Then the memory of last night returned and she unwound herself from the blankets which encased her like a shroud.

It was dark outside now. She looked at the clock - 5pm. Winter up here in the freezing hills had its benefits; the daylight hours were mercifully short. A house elf had been in, the fire was lit and food had been left. The elf must have come become sunset as the soup was distinctly cold. But it was good none the less and she ate greedily.

She entered the bathroom and splashed her face with water. Looking in the mirror, she noticed her lip was bleeding. Barring her teeth she saw the reason - her fangs were distinctly more pronounced. The potion was not working anymore. How much longer did she have, a week, a month? Either way it wouldn't be long she thought wiping the blood from her mouth. She eyed herself critically in the mirror. She looked the same, a little paler from not seeing the sun but essentially the same. Long dark hair, pale blue eyes with long dark eyelashes, and a thin delicate face with a full mouth. She was still beautiful, still Helena. Yet something within was changing. Smiling fully at herself she shuddered. The effect was frightening, she looked bestial. A tear rolled down her cheek, which she quickly wiped aside. Crying wouldn't do her any good. This was happening and she had to deal with it. Looking at the clock she saw it was almost 6pm, time to meet Severus at his office. She dressed hurriedly in simple grey robes, and arranged her hair into a chignon.

Walking down the empty school corridors she felt the anxiety build. She would have to be strong now, not allow him to see her fear or sorrow. She knew what he thought of her, the contempt and indifference were evident. He thought it was futile. But Dumbledore had persuaded him to help her. Severus had agreed now, and whether he liked it or not she would hold him to his word.

She reached the door and knocked. She listened and was just about to knock again when the door opened. He was taller than she'd realised in Dumbledore's office, although she had only seen him seated then. He glared down at her, looking from side to side down the corridor before stepping aside for her to enter. The effect was intimidating, but after all she thought, that was the effect he wanted to create. He was used to dominating. Well she would play along to a point but if he thought he could bully her, he was mistaken.

The inside of his office was much colder than elsewhere. She walked over to a desk with papers spread across its surface and where two chairs sat opposite one another. She pulled back a chair and went to sit down.

"That is my seat, take the other" he drawled.

She looked up and serenely replied "As you wish, Severus" before seating herself in the other chair.

He looked as if he was about to say something and then seemed to change his mind. She thought she knew what it was. He was about to ask her to call him 'Professor Snape' or 'Sir' no doubt. But even he realised how ridiculous it would be to ask a 28 year old woman to address him in that manor. It was 10 years since he'd taught her, she was not his pupil.

He seated himself in the remaining chair and studied her. "You are quite far gone I see."

She held his gaze and replied "Yes."

"And you were bitten in October?" he asked.

"September 28th" she replied.

He seemed irked at her correction "Regardless, it has been almost 3 months. I have looked at your notes on the potion. It is a rudimentary concoction, but it appears to have been of some use to you so I see no reason not to use it as the starting point. I must impress upon you that I do not think that you will find a cure, you are delaying the inevitable, no more."

"I am under no illusions of finding a cure, not within my lifetime anyway. I will stave off the change for as long as is possible, and then I will accept death. My notes, and now yours, will live on and will, I hope, be of use to those that follow." She tried to keep her voice as even as possible, devoid of all emotion. That speech had sounded much better in her head.

He looked at her quizzically, one eyebrow arched. The witch was clearly clever, the notes demonstrated that. But he had no time for grandiose speeches. She seemed to have accepted her fate solemnly, but would she really meet her death with such dignity? He would find out, no doubt. In accepting the task to help her with the potion he had also agreed to oversee her transformation and when the time came put an end to it.

**Chapter 4**

They worked late into the night with very little conversation. At 5am, after 12 different variations on the potion. Severus finally spoke. "The potion is too unstable, all changes render it worthless"

"I know that is why I am here" she replied.

"To waste my time, with a capricious tonic?"

"Who would have guessed you'd be such a defeatist, Severus" She retorted looking up to see his nostrils flare, but before he could speak she interjected "It is late, maybe you should retire for the night. If you permit, I will continue and then clear up."

He stalked over to her and grabbed her wrist.

"Do not trifle with me. I have agreed to help you with the potion. But do not forget that it is I who will decide whether the potion is of value and whether you are beyond aid." He whispered into her ear.

She twisted around to face him feeling her temper rise.

"I do not forget Severus. I also do not forget what I am" she replied parting her lips to reveal a glimpse of her small fangs.

A strange look crossed Severus's face, whether fear or revulsion she didn't know. But it was enough to cool her of her anger.

She dropped her head. "I am sorry Severus. You have agreed to help and I am being more than ungrateful. But you can not expect me to view it with the same detachment you do Severus. I have to live with this curse. The potion is all I have"

She looked up. He was studying her curiously, through narrowed eyes. Finally he released her and spoke "Do not bare your teeth to me again. We will continue tomorrow"

"As you wish" she replied clearing away "Goodnight Severus."

He nodded curtly and she left feeling crestfallen.

Sunrise was over 2 hours away and she did not feel like returning to her empty room yet. It was such a beautiful night; the snow was still thick and the sky cloudless. It was breathtaking. She pulled her cape around her shoulders and began to walk, within minutes she was crunching across the frozen grounds. The cold night air was invigorating, she felt so alive. It was as if she had never really seen night before. It began to snow and she twirled on the spot catching snow flakes on her tongue. Today she was alive, truly alive. She reached a large tree a few yards from the lake and on a sudden impulse transformed one of its branches so that a rope swing with a small wooden seat hung from it. She began to swing slowly at first, eyes closed, leaning back so that her long dark hair almost touched the snowy ground. She could feel the little white flakes landing on her face and melting. She swung higher and higher, her red cape and hair flying behind her. She sensed something and opened her eyes. Something stood on the other side of the lake near the forest. It was a wolf. They watched one another for a moment and then it turned and disappeared into the shadow of the forest.

Severus returned to his room panting and exhausted. He transformed back to his human form and paced up and down. He felt disturbed. He poured himself a glass of red wine, downed it in one and slouched into a chair by the fire. She reminded him of someone, someone long since dead. He watched the fire flickering and eventually fell asleep in the chair.

**Chapter 5**

Helena had returned to her room, drank her potion and placed a dark blanket across the window to ensure the previous morning's tribulations did not re-occur. Then she retired to bed. The strange dreams returned more vivid but still flitting through her mind too quickly to grasp.

She awoke feeling refreshed, she had slept deeply and for too long, it was already 6pm. She quickly, washed, dressed, and hurriedly swallowed a few bites of chicken sandwich. A definite improvement on cold soup!

She reached Severus's office just after 6.15pm. Once again she knocked and was greeted by a glaring Severus at the door. "You're late" he snarled.

"I'm sorry, I slept too well" she replied smiling. He looked irritated she noticed, and tired. She turned away and removed her cape.

They sat at the table again. This time there were several books stacked on top of it. "I have chosen a number of books which I think may help us" said Severus. "Yesterday we exhausted all the obvious ingredients which could be used to stabilise your little potion. Now we will start in earnest, which will require a more intellectual approach, in place of your preferred ad hoc style" he drawled.

His sarcasm amused her and she smiled. He scowled in return and passed her a book.

It was a beautiful book; its cover had a raised labyrinthine design. She caressed the cover gently with her hand. The sensation of the pattern under her hand sent tingles through her whole body and she involuntarily shuddered. He looked up and grabbed her hand away from the book.

"Do not be so foolish. These books are old and dark; they have more secrets and power than you can ever imagine. Why do you think I am sitting here with you instead of retiring to read in private? It is certainly not because I enjoy playing nanny to an overgrown child" he spat.

This time she laughed before she could stop herself.

"Do you find me amusing, Helena?" he asked menacingly, throwing her hand down roughly.

She looked at him, placing her head to one side. His pride was insufferable. She knew she should just apologise or say nothing. But then her impish side kicked in and she smiled. "Yes Severus. I find your scorn for me very amusing. You have an amazing talent for using your tongue like a whip and cutting right to the core of a person's failings."

He looked utterly stunned. But seemed to decide to ignore the comment.

"Read" he said opening her book.

She decided to take this as a small victory and quickly retreated behind the book. She began looking down the contents page. She had never heard of these plants, so she turned to the first chapter. The book was tedious, written in Old English in a very dreary style. Within a few hours she was bored, cold and decidedly hungry.

She yawned and got up to stretch her legs. She walked to the far side of the room and looked out of the window. Such a beautiful night, she thought leaning her cheek against the cold glass. It was just after 10pm. Last night Severus had not stopped for a break until 12am, when they had food and refreshment. But she was hungry now.

She turned around and saw Severus poring over his book. You had to admire him: he had discipline, she thought, or perhaps just a taste for dull herbology books. She wandered back to the table lingering behind Severus's back and looking over his shoulder at the text. It was just as dull, old plants she'd never heard of.

"I do not like people reading over my shoulder. Am I to take it you have finished your book already? Or do you just have the concentration span of a fly?" he drawled not looking up from the text.

She smiled and returned to her seat. "Oh I'd say my concentration span is better than a fly, surely I've at least achieved that of a mouse?"

He looked up and rested his chin in his hand. "Sadly I do not find you nearly as amusing as you find me. Am I to assume you are not serious about finding a potion?"

"No Severus, I'm sorry. I'm just hungry, I didn't eat much today. Would you mind if I went down to the kitchens and got myself something to eat?"

"And scare the house elves to death, I think not. You forget what you are; they can barely stand being in your presence in daylight let alone nightfall." He stated.

"Yes, I suppose I do sometimes forget what I am." She replied sadly.

He looked at her for a moment and then stood up. He held out his wand and the door to his private quarters appeared in the far wall. He went through the door closing it behind him. A few moments later he returned with a flask of red wine, and two glasses. Plus a small dish containing a selection of fruit.

"This will have to tide you over until 12, when the house elves prepare our supper." He said pouring them both a glass of wine.

"Thank you Severus" she said smiling at him, and picking up a banana.

She took her first mouthful of wine in over 3 months, closing her eyes and savouring the flavour luxuriantly. It was a lovely deep full bodied wine that seemed to spread warmth through her entire body. She opened her eyes and Severus was watching her curiously.

"You must think me strange, but it's been a long time since I've had wine. It's a Merlot, yes?" she inquired smiling

"Yes" he replied returning to his book.

Her sensuality troubled him. Vampires were known for this, especially the females. But still it unsettled him.

Severus drank the wine surprisingly quickly she noticed. He was used to drinking she thought. She on the other hand now felt extremely drunk after just two glasses. It must have been because it was on an empty stomach she rationalised.

She stood up a little unsteadily. "I think I'll go for a walk" she said. Trying to sound as normal as possible, but not quite managing it.

"A walk" he said looking at her quizzically.

"A walk, you know, outside. Clear my head" she said making far too many hand gestures. She grabbed the back of the chair and tried to pull what she thought was a sober face.

"I don't think that's a good idea. Why don't you sit down, you are obviously drunk" he said with a note of irony in his voice.

"I'm not about to bite anyone. Look, see" she said showing her teeth "They're not proper fangs yet, I'd have to suck people to death."

Despite himself he smiled at this. "Well I'll have to come with you all the same. We can't have a vampire wandering around of a night, especially a drunk one."

In truth he didn't really know why he was going with her. She was clearly not a threat yet, but she was drunk he told himself, she would be a danger to herself.

He grabbed his cape and turned to see her struggling to tie a bow in her cape which she'd somehow managed to put on back to front.

"Here, let me. We'll be here all day waiting for you" he drawled.

He stood in front of her, flipped her cape the right way around and tied it. His hands brushing against her throat as he did. He looked into her face as he tied the bow and was about to say something scathing when the look in her face stopped him dead.

She was staring at his face with her lips apart and a strange glazed expression.

He stepped back quickly.

Helena came out of her reverie, blushing scarlet. He was still watching her curiously.

"I…I wasn't about to bite you, you know. I…eh...just need to clear my head. That wine was very strong" she stammered not looking at his face and turning to the door.

He followed her, troubled. He'd not thought she was going to bite him, he'd thought… Well it didn't matter. It was clear he would have to watch her carefully.

**Chapter 6**

They walked out of the office and through the castle in silence. Helena was still deeply ashamed. She couldn't believe she'd been about to kiss him.

Once outside however, the freshness of the air pushed all thoughts from her head. She stopped on the steps and stood breathing in, eyes closed. When she opened them Severus was looking at her once again with that perplexed expression.

She sighed and asked "Have you already forgotten Severus, what it is like to face your own mortality?"

"I spent years facing it. No I do not forget" he spat

She looked at him and he returned her stare, maybe he did understand.

They continued walking. Her head felt clearer but she still felt giddy. They had reached the tree. She decided to throw caution to the wind and pointed her wand so that the swing reappeared.

"Call me a child if you want, but think of it as a dying woman's fancy"

Severus said nothing, but walked over to the edge of the lake. He was finding this difficult. She reminded him of someone, a girl, he'd known years ago. And yet she wasn't. She was a Vampire, or soon to become one and he would have to... He turned to look at her. She was so childlike. Swinging with such abandon, her hair and cape fluttering around her. It was beginning to snow now. She seemed to feel his eyes on her as she had done earlier and she turned to look at him smiling and then closed her eyes again swinging higher still.

The snow was falling heavy now. She could feel it. She put out her tongue and caught the snow flakes. Then quickly remembered were she was and opened her eyes to see Severus standing before her a few feet from where she was swinging.

"We should go back. We still have a lot to do tonight" he said.

She jumped off the swing and landed gracefully beside him. He suddenly looked stricken.

"What's the matter, Severus?" she asked looking at him with concern.

"Nothing. We have wasted enough time" he replied and began walking.

They returned to the office, and found their supper waiting. They sat in silence eating. She looked at him from time to time, but he didn't look up from the book.

"Severus?" she intoned tentatively.

He didn't acknowledge her so she repeated it a little louder "Severus?"

He put down his fork and looked at her.

"What is it?" he snapped.

"I was just wondering what you were hoping to find in these books?"

"I would have thought that was obvious. Something to stabilise the potion" he drawled.

"And have you found anything?" she asked, head on one side.

"I have found a number of possibilities" he replied.

"When can we try them?" she asked eagerly.

He sighed. And seemed to be considering it. "I doubt you will give me any peace until we try them so lets begin now" he said.

They took out their caldrons in silence and began, she thought, in earnest. Within 2 hours they had a variation on the potion which was more stable. The potion looked identical to what she had been taking every night for the past 10 weeks, except it seemed more substantial.

She couldn't contain her excitement and gratitude. It was better than she'd hoped, to have stabilised the potion in just 2 days. She looked at Severus and then leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. As soon as she did, she knew it was a mistake. He looked horrified and jumped aside.

"Keep yourself in check Helena. I am not your… Do not be so familiar again" he snarled turning away to return the ingredients to the cupboard.

His mind raced as he put the ingredients back on the shelf. He involuntarily found himself touching the cheek she had kissed and then pulled himself to. He was going to see Dumbledore tomorrow. This could not continue. She was too… He would not stand for it.

Helena stood by the cauldron staring at the golden liquid shimmering below. God she was a fool. Why did she do it? Well it was done now and she would have to deal with it. She conjured a goblet and scooped up some of the potion. She hesitated, and then drank. It had the same acrid taste but it felt hot when she swallowed. A heat which seemed to spread through her whole body. She felt strange. Something was wrong. She turned and saw Severus's rushing towards her, his mouth was moving but she couldn't hear what he was saying. Then it went black.

**Chapter 7**

Severus caught her as she collapsed. She was burning hot and covered in beads of sweat. It was his fault he thought – why didn't he warn her. This potion was much more potent, she should only have tried a spoonful first.

He picked her up and carried her into his private quarters, laying her gently on the bed. She was writhing now and moaning. Her temperature was sky high. He had to get these clothes off her. He removed his wand and then hesitated. It felt wrong. He ran his free hand through his hair agonising over what to do.

She started to moan louder now, incomprehensible ramblings and then quite clearly she cried out "Severus."

He looked down at her, brandishing his wand and her robes were replaced by a simple cotton slip. He quickly conjured a basin of ice cold water and a compress. Pressing the cold compress to her forehead, she visibly relaxed. He held it there looking at her delicate features. There was nothing he could do for her. She would have to sweat it out. He hoped she was strong enough, she looked so small and frail lying in the bed.

He sat by her side for hours; every half hour replacing the compress with a cold one. She was still now, sleeping. She was beautiful. It was nearly dawn and the sky was beginning to turn shades of burnished gold and blue. Suddenly she began to whimper, tossing in the bed. Daylight, how could he have been so stupid. He quickly flicked his wand and the curtains closed, plunging them into darkness. She was still again. He could just make out her form in the bed. He lent over and stroked her cheek.

"Its ok now Helena" he whispered.

He sank back in the chair exhausted and closed his eyes. Within seconds sleep claimed him.

Severus awoke several hours later and sat for a few moments listening to the sounds of the fire crackling in the grate. His body ached from sleeping in the chair. He finally opened his eyes and looking around the room noticed a platter of food and drink sitting on the sideboard. A house elf had been in; it must be after 4pm he thought.

He stood up, stretched and glanced at Helena still sleeping soundly. He walked to the bathroom and came face to face with his own reflection in the mirror; his face darkened at the sight of himself. Snarling, he turned from the image and quickly undressed and stepped into the shower. He washed his hair morosely and then picked up the soap and flannel and scrubbed at himself - harder and harder until his skin felt raw. He stood panting, allowing the water to run over his head and down his body. However hard he scrubbed he would always be defiled he thought.

Severus pulled himself from the dark thoughts that pressed in on him and hastily dried and dressed, avoiding his reflection in the mirror. He re-entered the chamber and walked over to the sideboard. He had no appetite and instead poured himself a glass of wine, downed it in one and poured himself another. Returning to the bedside he placed a hand on Helena's forehead; it was still hot but she wasn't running a fever anymore. She seemed to stir under his touch but didn't open her eyes. She was so young, so beautiful. He stroked her hair and then composing himself pulled his hand away and knocked back the second glass of wine.

He was decided now. There was nothing to be gained by idly sitting by her bedside. He walked through to his office, collected several herbology books, and returned to the bedside. He conjured a quill and parchment and began poring over the books making notes.

By 8pm he had several possible variations on the potion scribbled down. One in particular excited him. He'd found an herb (Revenio) which had previously been used to treat vampires 300 years ago. The herb had been abandoned as the pain it induced was supposed to be unbearable. But they had Otium now he reasoned, a simple potion derived from poppies, willow bark and unicorn tail hair, which acted as a powerful analgesic. If he could somehow incorporate both of these into the potion, then maybe it would be possible…

He stood up and began pacing up and down, like a caged beast. But would she be strong enough, the potion would still cause immense pain. He looked down at her sleeping form. Only one way to find out. He raised his wand, pointed it at Helena and thought 'Ennervate.'

**Chapter 8**

Helena gasped and looked around the room confused and frightened.

"Helena. You're ok. You're in my room. How do you feel?" he said gently

"Severus….. Severus," she repeated tentatively as if unsure of her own voice.

She tried to pull herself into an upright position but gave up as a wave of nausea hit her.

"Helena. I need to ask you something. I need you to understand me. Can you do that?"

"Water. I need water," she croaked.

He hurried to the sideboard and poured her a glass of water and returned to her side. She was still lying down. He would have to prop her up, she couldn't drink like that.

He reached down and gently forced her body into a sitting position. Her arms instinctively closed around his neck as he did this.

He held the glass up to her mouth and she sipped at the water seeming to chock at first. But he pressed it against her lips again and she looked into his eyes and slowly drank.

"I have to ask you something Helena"

"Anything" she replied, looking him straight in the eye.

"I think I have found an ingredient which may be a long-term solution….possibly even a cure" he said searching her face. "However, it will not be pleasant. It will cause you pain Helena, a lot of pain. I do not know if you will be strong enough"

They sat in silence for a moment looking at each other.

"Do it" she replied "I am stronger than you think"

"Helena, maybe you should wait"

"I am ready now" she interjected, fixing him with a determined stare.

He continued to look at her and then nodding solemnly, stood up grasping his notes and walked through to the office, leaving the door open so that he could check on her easily.

Helena continued sitting for a long time trying to recapture her strength. Her body didn't feel her own. She tentatively began to try and move. Dizziness and nausea attempted to overtake her but she fought it and continued to try and gain control over her unruly limbs. Eventually she was able to get herself into a sitting position with her legs swung over the edge of the bed. She tried to stand and fell back to the bed. She glanced out of the doorway and saw Severus watching her, an anxious expression on his face. She nodded to him determinedly and then turned back to face her feet, resolved to stand this time.

She finally managed a standing position and was able to slowly walk to the bathroom. Once there she looked at herself in the mirror, she was deathly pale. It was then that she realised what she was wearing. She felt a pang of embarrassment which was overruled by the immeasurable gratitude she felt. She undressed and stepped into the shower, allowing the warm water to roll down her body.

After what felt like an eternity she stepped out, steady on her feet now; her strength renewed. She dried herself and dressed in the cotton slip. Wandering back into the room, she seized a blanket from the bed and went to sit in the chair in front of the fire, curling her legs under her.

She watched the flames ravishing the logs, the light of their demise reflected in her pale eyes. Her mind was resolved; she would take this potion even if it killed her.

**Chapter 9**

Severus stirred the potion for the final time. It was done. He filled a small vial and walked back into his quarters.

She was sitting by the fire staring at the flames as though in a trance.

"Have you done it?" she inquired without looking up from the fire.

"It is done."

Helena turned to look at Severus, letting her eyes linger on the vial in his hand.

"I am ready" she said.

"I… I think it would be wise for you to lie down" he replied walking to the bedside and seating himself in the chair.

She followed and climbed into the bed.

"Are you sure you're ready. This will not be…pleasant. Perhaps you should wait until tomorrow?" he asked, almost pleadingly.

"No Severus….It is now or never" she whispered looking into his face.

He seemed to understand and handed her the vial.

She looked at the small container of liquid. It was opalescent peach. Like a pearl she thought. She closed her eyes and swallowed. It was bitter and she had to stop herself gagging. She felt nothing at first and then it was as if every muscle in her body was contracting; undulating waves of pain. She rolled over into a foetal position, tears streaming down her face, whimpering like an animal. The pain was increasing, driving through her body like a storm. It was unimaginable, far worse than she'd ever thought.

"Severus, make it stop, please make it stop" she cried opening her eyes and looking into his anguished face.

It was unbearable for him to watch. There was nothing he could do. He reached out his hand and placed it on her cheek. "Oh Helena, I can't… I wish I could"

She covered his hand with her own

"Hold me" she pleaded.

Severus hesitated looking into her pained eyes and then climbed into the bed behind her, wrapping his arms around her fragile body. She continued to whimper, moaning, calling his name. It was heartbreaking for him to witness.

He lay holding her, how long he didn't know. Eventually her whimpering ceased and she appeared to be sleeping. He tentatively rested his face in her hair, breathing in her scent. It had been many years since he had held a woman, it was intoxicating.

The worst was over now he thought; they would just have to wait to see if it had been worth it. He fell asleep holding her, his face buried in her long dark hair.

**Chapter 10 **

Helena awokea little after 3am. She felt different somehow: clean, reborn. She ran her tongue across her teeth – she couldn't feel her fangs. She carefully removed Severus's arms from around her and rushed to the mirror. Her teeth were normal. She couldn't believe it, Severus was a genius. Was this a cure she thought, or just a reprieve? Either way she didn't care. Right now she was Helena, just Helena.

She walked back to the bed and climbed in next to him, nestling her head under his chin. He smelt so good, so clean, he reminded her of a potion she had once smelt. She gently kissed his neck and he stirred in his sleep. She lifted her face to his and kissed his lips softly, leaning back to look at his face. He opened his eyes and looked at her. She smiled and leaned forwards and kissed him again, sliding her tongue into his mouth. He responded pulling her to him, kissing her urgently, passionately.

Then he pulled back, looking anguished.

She raised her hand and stroked his face.

"Severus" she whispered, the name rolled off her tongue like honey.

He looked into her eyes and opened his mouth to speak and then hesitated, he seemed torn.

_Inside Severus was screaming. He wanted her; he wanted her so much his skin burned at her touch. But she was a Vampire. This was just her nature. Why else would she want him? _

"Helena…You do not want me" he said, his face darkening.

"This is just part of the change, you're a Vampire" Severus spat, sitting up abruptly.

Helena was hurt, but then she understood. She reached up and slowly traced her hand across his broad back. He shivered at her touch.

"Severus…my love" she whispered.

He remained motionless. She slowly raised herself to her knees, and reached her arms around his body, hugging him and resting her head on his shoulder.

She began kissing his neck again, licking at his ear.

"It's only you Severus, only you" she breathed into his ear.

He was everything. He had to understand

He turned around suddenly, his face unfathomable, and then pinned her to the bed.

"Look at me Severus" she beseeched, writhing under his grip.

His dominance was terrifying yet thrilling.

He looked down at her wantonly. She parted her lips revealing her teeth.

He gazed at her, confused and overjoyed. No fangs; did this mean… it had worked, she wasn't….

She reached up and kissed him fervently. He returned the ardour, plunging his tongue deep into her mouth. He gently slid the cotton slip down her shoulders; kissing her throat, her chest, her stomach …

With each groan of ecstasy, a layer of loneliness and pain was stripped away.

Now he understood she thought.

For a few blissful hours nothing mattered; not the past, not the future.

Finally they lay together exhausted and elated. Helena turned to face Severus and raised herself up on one elbow. With her free hand she traced small circles on his naked torso. He had been unbelievable, gentle yet powerful. Looking at him lying there breathless with his eyes closed made her want him again.

She bent down and nibbled his ear.

"You're going to kill me, haven't you had enough" he groaned, a small smile playing across his lips.

"No rest for the wicked" she whispered provocatively.

He sat up and forced her onto her back, holding her wrists back.

"Wicked am I. Maybe this time I'll show you what wicked is" he growled kissing her throat.

She let him dominate her completely. Giving herself over to him utterly. It felt wonderful.

Afterwards they lay in each others arms. Severus gently kissed her forehead. She was like a dream, some sweet dream he'd denied himself all these long years. He looked down at her sleeping on his chest, her eyes closed and a strand of hair fluttering by her nose as she breathed.

_He couldn't let her go now. She was his. _

18


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